Four Behavioral Styles of Customers

The following style grid outlines the four styles and positions them in relation to the vertical and horizontal axis.



The vertical axis is the openness scale, which refers to how willing the person is to be open and to reveal what is happening on the inside. At the top, we have highly open, talkative, friendly, relationship-oriented individuals: extroverts. At the bottom, we find self-contained, quiet, very closed individuals: introverts. The introverts are self-contained people, usually expressionless, not revealing their feelings, thoughts, or emotions. Their world is internal and it can be difficult to read them or know what they're thinking. Comparatively, the extroverts readily show excitement, joy, enthusiasm, anger, and a variety of emotions.

The horizontal axis is referred to as the directness scale: direct or indirect. People who are direct, on the right side, make decisions quickly and easily: not a lot of details are required. These people are spontaneous, "Sure, sounds good, let's do it." Their motto is, "It's easier to get forgiveness than permission." People who are indirect, on the left side, are not as comfortable making quick decisions. They move more cautiously, arriving at a decision more slowly. A direct individual may very well get frustrated by the amount of time an indirect person takes to make a decision. Conversely, an indirect person is not impressed with how quickly and recklessly a direct person makes decisions. It's all about understanding that people are different. Your interactions with people succeed when you heed their external signals. Interactions fail when you ignore the signals. Now for the bad news and good news: the bad news is there is only one thing you can control and change; the good news is, it's you. Don't try to change other people; you can't. The high divorce rate proves it. Even marriage counselors are in agreement that the behavioral flexibility model goes a long way toward improving relationships. The following pages outline the primary characteristics of each style. Let's have a look at each style and as you read through them, try to ascertain the style that best fits your behavior, at work and at home.

Socializer
These are fun-loving extroverts, social people who are full of life and always appear to be enjoying themselves, having fun. Their preference is party first, business second. The best way to get their attention and build rapport is to have fun with them before you get down to business. They are energetic, enthusiastic, talkative, and literally the life of any party. They are sharp dressers, very stylish, and sometimes outrageous. Socializers are not afraid of drawing attention to themselves; in fact, they prefer it. They love toys and often drive high-end sports cars: red Porsches, Lamborghinis, or Dodge Stealths. They also have all the accessories: jewelry, expensive watches, shoes, pens, etc. A $1,000 outfit with all the trimmings is not uncommon.

The downside about Socializers is that they are poor listeners and inattentive, since they are usually focused on talking about themselves. It's sometimes tough to get a word in edgewise as they tell you their life stories and fondest dreams. Nevertheless, you must give them time to chat and party with you before asking business questions.

A word of caution: Socializers hate detail and boring, lengthy presentations. They can be very impatient. Make it fun, colorful, exciting, and get to the bottom line quickly. Sell the sizzle more than the steak. Bottom line to a Socializer means, "How will this make me look good and will it be fun?" Get the deal in writing. Socializers tend to forget quickly as they move on to the next event or party. The best vehicle to build trust and rapport is to put fun into the relationship. Energize your call with enthusiasm and excitement. After all, if you have fun socializing and pass the party test by listening to the jokes and stories, then it only stands to reason that you will be a trustworthy, enjoyable person to do business with. The big plus is that they will, and do, make quick decisions (direct) as you move through the steps of your Sequential Model.

Director

Here is your consummate businessperson, an introvert whose main focus is the task at hand and who is guided by goals and objectives. Directors are always asking, "What's the point?" Thus, it's always business first, party maybe. Get to the point quickly and don't socialize or try to encourage social conversation. They will become impatient and tune out quickly as they are simply not interested. Directors love control and prefer to be in charge; they like being the boss. As an introvert, they have a low tolerance for feelings and emotions. Directors can appear to be quiet, unfriendly, and apathetic. Directors are quite happy to do things on their own—see a movie, dine in a restaurant, or even travel. They will tell you, "I'm alone, but not lonely."

Directors often prefer to give cash or gift certificates as gifts rather than take the time to shop. Their dress is usually dark blue and conservative, nothing flashy or terribly stylish. If a Director is wearing a flashy tie you can feel safe in asking, "Nice tie, who bought it for you?" They drive conservative, functional cars such as a Reliant or a Taurus. Don't touch a Director, in fact, handshakes are unnecessary. They like their personal space, "We are here to do business, not get married!" A Director is not concerned about the relationship, they just care about your performance as a professional and how the performance of your product or service will contribute to the bottom line. Don't have an emotional outburst (crying) in a Director's office. He or she will be unmoved and unimpressed. Get yourself together—then carry on with the conversation. No sniffling allowed. Remember, Directors have a need for power and control that cannot be ignored by a pushy sales representative. They are motivated by bottom-line detail.

Thinker

The two main components of a Thinker are indirect (slow decisions) and self-contained (introvert). These individuals are typically your engineers, accountants, and computer programmers. It's information first, then business. You don't have much hope of doing business with them until you deliver all the required data for them to make an informed, intelligent decision. Thinkers hate to be wrong—it drives them crazy when mistakes are made. That's why they are indirect, not making decisions quickly, avoiding mistakes. They are very detailed-oriented and precise, often guided by the letter of the law, versus the spirit of the law. Presentations to Thinkers must be logical, accurate, and reliable. Thinkers are the ones who will lure you into a feature dump. They love it. Rather than spewing reams of information, ask them what they would like to see. They will tell you what's important to them so make sure you provide it. I suggest you openly acknowledge their need for information, then ask, "What specific information would you need to see to build your confidence to buy from me?" Build confidence by presenting appropriate information guided by the Thinkers' feedback. Dumping wheelbarrels of data in their office for their perusal only lengthens the sales cycle. Edit your dialogue with data that are relevant and appropriate to the Thinker.

Expect Thinkers to compare your product or service to the competition. Seldom will they accept information at face value. Impulse buying is very uncomfortable for them. They prefer to research manufacturer's specifications and converse with experts in that field. Don't argue with them; there isn't much chance of winning. Why? Because they have thoroughly researched the subject and have the data to back themselves up, and they will pursue the argument until they are victorious. In some cases Thinkers' attitudes are: "I'm right and you're wrong but it's your right to be wrong."

Of the four styles, Thinkers are the ones least concerned with dress—it's not important. Their clothes are a bit worn and generally a bit out of style. They sometimes wear a plastic pocket protector full of Bic pens and use duct tape to fix their glasses. I know some Thinkers who insist on hanging toilet paper "correctly," exercising proper toilet paper management, so that it rolls off the top. This is an important detail to Thinkers and in fact, they have been known to correct it when they get home. They sometimes even correct it at a friend's home, just to help out. It has been the topic of many heated matrimonial discussions. Of course the Directors are thinking: "Who cares? I'm happy if there's paper on the back of the toilet."

Thinkers tend to be packrats, never throwing anything out. Their garages and basements are jammed with old stuff because, "You just never know when it might be useful." Heck, they even have their university text books and notes somewhere in the basement.

Thinkers focus on two important aspects of selling: accuracy and an eye to detail. They are particular on their paperwork, which is appreciated by internal customers. They tend to do a job right the first time, whereas Socializers may have to redo it several times as they often overlook important details.

Relater

The two main components of a Relater are indirect (slow decisions) and open (extrovert). These individuals are very sensitive, often taking business issues personally. They are very intuitive, accurately reading people's nonverbal behaviors. Relaters are big-time team players and they encourage harmony among the team, be it at work, socially, or at home with their family. Relaters are emotional, empathetic people who are moved to tears easily and can be oversensitive. Take a Relater to see Titanic and watch what happens. They cry very easily. (Yes, even male Relaters.) Directors would be inclined to think, "Why are you crying, you knew the darn thing sank in 1912." Relaters are often appalled at the apparent apathy of Directors, taking their verbal and nonverbal responses literally. Relaters hate conflict of any sort. They go to great lengths to avoid hassles, talking their way out of conflict. They are very conforming and go with the flow versus doing it solo. Relaters are good listeners and ask more than tell. Relaters are motivated by the relationship, hoping everybody will like them. They must be popular and tend to make decisions slowly (indirect) so as to not offend or upset anyone with an unpopular decision. When shopping, Relaters will often ask, "What's popular, what's selling?" The use of references is very effective with Relaters—they build confidence in your product or service. Relaters like to be assured that they are not the only ones using your product or service. Your proposal must support or enhance the people side of the business, concentrating on harmony, security, and concrete benefits. Ask them frequently about their opinions and ideas.

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How Do I Get Them to Like Me?

Behavioral adaptability is the key to successful application of the behavioral flexibility model. Adaptability means you have the maturity and confidence to behave in a style that may not be your primary style, but that reflects the style of your customer. Sales entrepreneurs consciously go out of their comfort zone in order to establish a relationship of rapport and trust.

By recognizing the styles of yourself and others, you can adapt your behavior to fit the situation. Adapting speeds up the likeable factor. People are naturally drawn to like-minded people with similar styles. If you can embrace and parallel the behavioral style of your customers, they can't help but appreciate your approach and, consciously or unconsciously, begin to like you. In their book, The Art of Speedreading People, Paul and Barbara Tieger talk about the tremendous sales advantage of speedreading your customers—identifying the customer's style type and adapting. They go on to suggest that your next goal is to speed-reach your customer—communicate on the customer's own level based on the style type you have identified. You need to observe and listen carefully to your customer and respond in the way that best accommodates his or her behavioral type.

Developing your skill in reading and interpreting people's behavioral style helps manage the initial tension that exists in any new relationship. As Tony Alessandra says in his book, People Smarts, "You can learn to adapt your style to handle different types of situations, even the more difficult ones that we encounter in the real-world laboratory of life." He goes on to suggest this tool is not about changing, it's about acting in a "sensible, successful way" to nurture a lasting relationship. Perhaps Dr. Richard Carlson says it most succinctly in his book, Don't Sweat the Small Stuff... and it's all small stuff:

For many people, one of the most frustrating aspects of life is not being able to understand other people's behavior. We see them as "guilty" instead of "innocent." It's tempting to focus on people's seemingly irrational behavior—their comments, actions, mean-spirited acts, selfish behavior—and get extremely frustrated. If we focus on behavior too much, it can seem like other people are making us miserable. It's true that other people do weird things (who doesn't?), but we are the ones getting upset, so we are the ones who need to change. I'm merely talking about learning to be less bothered by the actions of people.

Carlson goes on to suggest that, "When someone is acting in a way we don't like, the best strategy for dealing with that person is to look beyond it and see the innocence in where the behavior is coming from."

Parallel to Carlson's thinking, I offer this explanation of behavioral flexibility: An understanding of the behavior model gives us the patience to tolerate other people and their actions—including internal customers such as spouse, kids, and family. You can't change your style or other people's styles, but you can change the relationship.

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Chapter 6: Building Rapport and Trust: Behavioral Flexibility

Behavioral flexibility is proving to be one of the most useful tools you can add to your intellectual inventory, your professional equity. Understanding style types and learning how to adjust (not change) your approach fosters rapport and trust with your customer, while helping meet and exceed your customer's communication expectations. Sales entrepreneurs understand that the full dynamics of interpersonal communication go beyond the basic communication model of sender (encoding) and receiver (decoding).

Different customers require different selling approaches. Behavioral flexibility provides a tool for us to adapt to different selling situations. Its application continues to grow in popularity as business people learn to appreciate the tremendously positive impact behavioral flexibility has on relationships.

Building and maintaining rapport and trust are the cornerstones to any relationship. So what's the difference between rapport and trust? Rapport can be instantaneous or developed in a very short period of time. It means having something in common with the party you are meeting. Part of forming a first impression is deciding whether you like this person enough to continue the conversation without barriers. Sometimes when you meet someone new, you instantly feel good about him or her. Rapport develops quickly. Perhaps it's like the "love at first sight" feeling. Trust takes longer. Trust is developed over time and is based on honesty, consistency, integrity, and professionalism. It's following through on your commitments and promises. I may initially like you (rapport) but it may take a bit of time before I trust you. Thus, rapport and trust must work in accord for the relationship to advance. These are two common denominators to any endeavor in life and to any relationship, including relations with your internal customers, kids, siblings, and spouse.

The pioneer who developed the psychology of style types was a Swiss psychologist, Dr. Carl Jung. He initially observed differences in his parents' behavioral styles and his fascination led to years of studying the differences among people. He began his research in the late 1800s and in 1921 he wrote Psychology Types. Jung's research eventually revealed four basic behavioral types: Initiator, Thinker, Feeler, and Sensor. Most of his work focuses on internal characteristics that lead to external behaviors. Another point to consider: It is suggested that you are born with a predominate style that does not change as you go through life. Once a thinker, always a thinker. That's not to say you don't experience traits from the other styles; you do. Jung's work simply suggests that you have a primary personality style. The four styles I refer to later in this chapter are Socializer, Director, Thinker, and Relater, all evolving from Carl Jung's work.

You should read this modul:

How Do I Get Them to Like Me?
Four Behavioral Styles of Customers
How Will I Know When I See One?
Different Versus Difficult
General Observations

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