The following style grid outlines the four styles and positions them in relation to the vertical and horizontal axis.
The vertical axis is the openness scale, which refers to how willing the person is to be open and to reveal what is happening on the inside. At the top, we have highly open, talkative, friendly, relationship-oriented individuals: extroverts. At the bottom, we find self-contained, quiet, very closed individuals: introverts. The introverts are self-contained people, usually expressionless, not revealing their feelings, thoughts, or emotions. Their world is internal and it can be difficult to read them or know what they're thinking. Comparatively, the extroverts readily show excitement, joy, enthusiasm, anger, and a variety of emotions.
The horizontal axis is referred to as the directness scale: direct or indirect. People who are direct, on the right side, make decisions quickly and easily: not a lot of details are required. These people are spontaneous, "Sure, sounds good, let's do it." Their motto is, "It's easier to get forgiveness than permission." People who are indirect, on the left side, are not as comfortable making quick decisions. They move more cautiously, arriving at a decision more slowly. A direct individual may very well get frustrated by the amount of time an indirect person takes to make a decision. Conversely, an indirect person is not impressed with how quickly and recklessly a direct person makes decisions. It's all about understanding that people are different. Your interactions with people succeed when you heed their external signals. Interactions fail when you ignore the signals. Now for the bad news and good news: the bad news is there is only one thing you can control and change; the good news is, it's you. Don't try to change other people; you can't. The high divorce rate proves it. Even marriage counselors are in agreement that the behavioral flexibility model goes a long way toward improving relationships. The following pages outline the primary characteristics of each style. Let's have a look at each style and as you read through them, try to ascertain the style that best fits your behavior, at work and at home.
Socializer
These are fun-loving extroverts, social people who are full of life and always appear to be enjoying themselves, having fun. Their preference is party first, business second. The best way to get their attention and build rapport is to have fun with them before you get down to business. They are energetic, enthusiastic, talkative, and literally the life of any party. They are sharp dressers, very stylish, and sometimes outrageous. Socializers are not afraid of drawing attention to themselves; in fact, they prefer it. They love toys and often drive high-end sports cars: red Porsches, Lamborghinis, or Dodge Stealths. They also have all the accessories: jewelry, expensive watches, shoes, pens, etc. A $1,000 outfit with all the trimmings is not uncommon.
The downside about Socializers is that they are poor listeners and inattentive, since they are usually focused on talking about themselves. It's sometimes tough to get a word in edgewise as they tell you their life stories and fondest dreams. Nevertheless, you must give them time to chat and party with you before asking business questions.
A word of caution: Socializers hate detail and boring, lengthy presentations. They can be very impatient. Make it fun, colorful, exciting, and get to the bottom line quickly. Sell the sizzle more than the steak. Bottom line to a Socializer means, "How will this make me look good and will it be fun?" Get the deal in writing. Socializers tend to forget quickly as they move on to the next event or party. The best vehicle to build trust and rapport is to put fun into the relationship. Energize your call with enthusiasm and excitement. After all, if you have fun socializing and pass the party test by listening to the jokes and stories, then it only stands to reason that you will be a trustworthy, enjoyable person to do business with. The big plus is that they will, and do, make quick decisions (direct) as you move through the steps of your Sequential Model.
Director
Here is your consummate businessperson, an introvert whose main focus is the task at hand and who is guided by goals and objectives. Directors are always asking, "What's the point?" Thus, it's always business first, party maybe. Get to the point quickly and don't socialize or try to encourage social conversation. They will become impatient and tune out quickly as they are simply not interested. Directors love control and prefer to be in charge; they like being the boss. As an introvert, they have a low tolerance for feelings and emotions. Directors can appear to be quiet, unfriendly, and apathetic. Directors are quite happy to do things on their own—see a movie, dine in a restaurant, or even travel. They will tell you, "I'm alone, but not lonely."
Directors often prefer to give cash or gift certificates as gifts rather than take the time to shop. Their dress is usually dark blue and conservative, nothing flashy or terribly stylish. If a Director is wearing a flashy tie you can feel safe in asking, "Nice tie, who bought it for you?" They drive conservative, functional cars such as a Reliant or a Taurus. Don't touch a Director, in fact, handshakes are unnecessary. They like their personal space, "We are here to do business, not get married!" A Director is not concerned about the relationship, they just care about your performance as a professional and how the performance of your product or service will contribute to the bottom line. Don't have an emotional outburst (crying) in a Director's office. He or she will be unmoved and unimpressed. Get yourself together—then carry on with the conversation. No sniffling allowed. Remember, Directors have a need for power and control that cannot be ignored by a pushy sales representative. They are motivated by bottom-line detail.
Thinker
The two main components of a Thinker are indirect (slow decisions) and self-contained (introvert). These individuals are typically your engineers, accountants, and computer programmers. It's information first, then business. You don't have much hope of doing business with them until you deliver all the required data for them to make an informed, intelligent decision. Thinkers hate to be wrong—it drives them crazy when mistakes are made. That's why they are indirect, not making decisions quickly, avoiding mistakes. They are very detailed-oriented and precise, often guided by the letter of the law, versus the spirit of the law. Presentations to Thinkers must be logical, accurate, and reliable. Thinkers are the ones who will lure you into a feature dump. They love it. Rather than spewing reams of information, ask them what they would like to see. They will tell you what's important to them so make sure you provide it. I suggest you openly acknowledge their need for information, then ask, "What specific information would you need to see to build your confidence to buy from me?" Build confidence by presenting appropriate information guided by the Thinkers' feedback. Dumping wheelbarrels of data in their office for their perusal only lengthens the sales cycle. Edit your dialogue with data that are relevant and appropriate to the Thinker.
Expect Thinkers to compare your product or service to the competition. Seldom will they accept information at face value. Impulse buying is very uncomfortable for them. They prefer to research manufacturer's specifications and converse with experts in that field. Don't argue with them; there isn't much chance of winning. Why? Because they have thoroughly researched the subject and have the data to back themselves up, and they will pursue the argument until they are victorious. In some cases Thinkers' attitudes are: "I'm right and you're wrong but it's your right to be wrong."
Of the four styles, Thinkers are the ones least concerned with dress—it's not important. Their clothes are a bit worn and generally a bit out of style. They sometimes wear a plastic pocket protector full of Bic pens and use duct tape to fix their glasses. I know some Thinkers who insist on hanging toilet paper "correctly," exercising proper toilet paper management, so that it rolls off the top. This is an important detail to Thinkers and in fact, they have been known to correct it when they get home. They sometimes even correct it at a friend's home, just to help out. It has been the topic of many heated matrimonial discussions. Of course the Directors are thinking: "Who cares? I'm happy if there's paper on the back of the toilet."
Thinkers tend to be packrats, never throwing anything out. Their garages and basements are jammed with old stuff because, "You just never know when it might be useful." Heck, they even have their university text books and notes somewhere in the basement.
Thinkers focus on two important aspects of selling: accuracy and an eye to detail. They are particular on their paperwork, which is appreciated by internal customers. They tend to do a job right the first time, whereas Socializers may have to redo it several times as they often overlook important details.
Relater
The two main components of a Relater are indirect (slow decisions) and open (extrovert). These individuals are very sensitive, often taking business issues personally. They are very intuitive, accurately reading people's nonverbal behaviors. Relaters are big-time team players and they encourage harmony among the team, be it at work, socially, or at home with their family. Relaters are emotional, empathetic people who are moved to tears easily and can be oversensitive. Take a Relater to see Titanic and watch what happens. They cry very easily. (Yes, even male Relaters.) Directors would be inclined to think, "Why are you crying, you knew the darn thing sank in 1912." Relaters are often appalled at the apparent apathy of Directors, taking their verbal and nonverbal responses literally. Relaters hate conflict of any sort. They go to great lengths to avoid hassles, talking their way out of conflict. They are very conforming and go with the flow versus doing it solo. Relaters are good listeners and ask more than tell. Relaters are motivated by the relationship, hoping everybody will like them. They must be popular and tend to make decisions slowly (indirect) so as to not offend or upset anyone with an unpopular decision. When shopping, Relaters will often ask, "What's popular, what's selling?" The use of references is very effective with Relaters—they build confidence in your product or service. Relaters like to be assured that they are not the only ones using your product or service. Your proposal must support or enhance the people side of the business, concentrating on harmony, security, and concrete benefits. Ask them frequently about their opinions and ideas.
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